December 20, 2007

I have suffered from anxiety attacks since I was a child. I remember having what I now recognize to be anxiety attacks in 1st grade. I remember crying, being scared, and wanting my mom. I couldn't tell the teacher what was wrong, because I didn't know. Today it is different because depression is being recognized as an illness, a disease or disorder. In the 1970's no one knew anything about it, and no one talked about it. Those who suffered, did it in silence.

As an adult, I still suffer from depression, panic attacks, and anxiety. The difference is I have been in treatment for the last 15 years, and eventhough modern pharmaceuticals and behavioral therapy have helped me live without the paralyzing effects of depression, there is no cure. Therefore, I will have to deal with depression everyday for the rest of my life.

There is hope though. There a many ways to cope with depression, and live a relatively normal life. Normal of course being a relative word. What is normal anyway?

So the whole point of this is to share my personal experiences, and knowledge of mental illness. When I was really sick, I did whatever I could to feel better. When I say whatever I could, I mean positive, legal actions. I don't drink alcohol, or use drugs. I went to the book store and spent alot of time in the "self help" section. I read as much as I could about my illness and how to get better. The book store wasn't the only place I looked for help though. I also began behavioral therapy. This helped me as much as the anti-depressant medication I started taking. In my opinion, they really go hand in hand. For those who don't like one or the other, you are denying yourself tremendous help. Life is too short to feel like crap because you don't want to take a pill everyday. It's worth it!

Anyway, there are many symptoms of depression. Not everyone experiences the same ones. Among the symptoms I experience, one of them is concentration. There are times when I feel like I can't think straight. What is thinking straight? Does it make sense? I think they call it lack of concentration. Not only can't I think straight, my mind seems like it is racing around like a whirlwind. They call that racing thoughts.

I am talking about this now because I would like to be able to structure my blog in a way that will help anyone looking for help. Help that is easy to find and understand. I know alot about depression, and maybe if I talk about how depression and it's symptoms directly affect my life, I will be able to help other people who are suffering. Know one thing, you are not alone! The key is to reach out.